Les Miserables

Everyday i wake up way before i should. I skip the morning piss and brushing teeth or even drinking water all so i could make my way to the basement and check my email, hoping that she wrote me something. Each and every morning i wake i hope that she wrote me something that i could deem as hopeful. That after i stare at a screen for a few minutes my entire world could change. And every morning i just set myself up for a fall.


I can feel it when i read what she writes. Every email and ever message or form of communication between me and her. I can tell she bites her tongue holding back emotionally charged words. Even though she says whats done is done and she stopped thinking about it, I can hear the conflict in her head. She wants to love, feel and connect with me and much as i want the same with her but theres a nagging voice in her mind that wont be silenced. It's grown louder over time. At first she paid no attention to it but obviously it grew to epic and unignorable proportions.

i wish i could find it and stone it.

But thats still apart of her. And she knows just as well as anyone i couldn't do a thing in all my power to hurt her.

miserables